I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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