Need sex. Gaining weight.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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