dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
