Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
