Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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