I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize