would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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