Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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