I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize