Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i dont even know how to be here
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
