hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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