lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
