Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
