I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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