Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
