are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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