there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
