i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
