im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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