doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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