im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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