i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
