Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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