If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
