winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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