i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
