i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
