I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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