so that wasnt chicken after all
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize