i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
