Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
