Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
