I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
