Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
