Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
