Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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