I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
