wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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