Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
