You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
