pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
