Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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