Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
