Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize