I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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