It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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