My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
