just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
