dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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