I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just gargled with NyQuil
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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