Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
