the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
