We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
