Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
dude. I can hear the air.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
