I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
