Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
