i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
