I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
