Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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