I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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