When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just pee around me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
