As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
