yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
