I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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